December Dilemma - December 2012 East Side Monthly Column

On your local web browser and in your local coffeeshop, please enjoy December's East Side Monthly, which includes "The December Dilemma," thoughts from me on holidays, schools, and cultural identity. Here it is, in the link in the previous sentence and below.

Illustration by Jessica Pollak

In first grade, our oldest son came home with Olive, the Other Reindeer, borrowed from the school library. As we read it together, me giggling at the title, he said, “What’s so funny? I don’t get it.” “It’s a joke, honey, a pun,” I explained. “You know, ‘all of the other reindeer’ from ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’.”

Nope, he didn't know. He didn't know about the renowned nasal exceptionalism which initially prompted Rudolph’s cruel treatment at the hooves of the other reindeer and then produced eventual top deer status. Nor did my kid have any notion that the other reindeer were not a nameless herd but storied individuals critical to the success of Saint Nicholas’ annual nocturnal rooftop journey. We went down the chimney a bit further. Do you know who Saint Nicholas is? Nope. Santa Claus? Um, some old guy, maybe?

This made sense. We are happy flag-wavers on the Fourth. We love Thanksgiving. Give us a big non-religious holiday and we are all in (with awareness that the relative inclusivity of such celebrations needs to account for the experiences of African Americans and Native Americans). We also are Jews raising our kids with an emphasis on our religious tradition and associated holidays. We don’t have Christmas carols on our iPods (the main source of our kids’ exposure to music), though now that the kids are older, Adam Sandler’s Chanukah songs and The Maccabeats’ “Candlelight” have pride of place on our holiday playlists. The annual showing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that was a broadcast staple of my generation’s childhood Decembers is no longer regularly viewed, its ubiquity thrown over in favor of whatever the DVR is serving up. So my first-grader wasn't going to get a grip on the Rudolph situation at home.

Nor, as it turned out, would he find such exposure in school, where many of my generation who were religiously and culturally inclined away from the mainstream picked up a whole lot of Christian-themed cultural literacy. My children and their peers in the Providence Public Schools learn together in schools that are far more diverse than those in the ‘burbs that I attended in the 1970s. In recognition of that diversity, kids aren't singing many of the old standards that clearly refer to religious holidays.

Depending on the teacher, my children have learned about Chanukah and Kwanzaa in their early elementary years. Ideally, when the teachers were of different faiths, they invited parents to share their December celebrations. I have fond memories of accompanying one of my children to his second grade class with dreidels and gelt for all. My son — often the only Jewish kid in his class — was delighted. He felt recognized in a way that made me want to make sure that all kids have the opportunity to feel similarly. This approach also conforms to the guidelines that the ACLU recommends. Handled carefully, religion in public schools is fair game as part of curriculum. Prayer is not. Singing a religiously-themed song as part of a larger presentation of holiday music and celebration is okay. Creating associations between such a song and the school itself is not.

So it’s tricky. We don’t want a particular religion to dominate public settings. Neither would we wish religion and its strong ties to identity to be sanitized completely from our kids’ educational experiences. Teachers note similar conflict. Many discuss the desire to teach about the religious and cultural celebrations that connect their students to their identities and that help widen the students’ awareness of diversity beyond their communities. Those same teachers also express profound discomfort with the threat of misrepresenting another person’s history or experience.

This is a particular challenge in Providence, where most of the teachers do not share their students’ ethnic or cultural backgrounds. Some teachers, such as my friend Daryl Lynn, a preschool teacher, suggest steering clear of religious holidays entirely. She asks, “Is it possible to not even acknowledge holidays? Is there a reason to not do that?” Other educators believe passionately that cultural identity is linked with successful engagement in a school community, because all kids want to be known and acknowledged in ways that my second grader experienced on dreidel day. What I know is this: wrestling with the December Dilemma is a price we pay for the gift of school diversity, and we are going to need to set the DVR to catch Rudolph the next time he flies into town.

Providence Public Schools: Jewish Holidays No More (for now)

Mario Hilario, the rhymingest reporter in Providence television news, recently reported this story on Providence Public Schools' discontinuation of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur as school holidays (well, Rosh Hashana, anyway, as Yom Kippur doesn't begin until sundown on Friday, September 18). Here's the ProJo's take on the story, with some added perspective from Providence district staff; I'm happy to note that both versions feature our rabbi, Emanu-El's Wayne Franklin.

Providence Public Schools have been off for RH and YK for 30+ years; reasons why they won't be this year, according to the above reports, include the early dates for the holidays this year (RH is on 9/8, a week after school starts), the declining Jewish public school student and teacher population, the ongoing challenges of accommodating holidays observed by diverse religious groups. and the pressure not to lose any days for needed instructional time (I'd love to know more about the percentage of PPSD Jewish kids and teachers/staff, as well as the ways that other major religious are/aren't acknowledged in various ways in school, investigations that will need to wait for another day).

All valid, and I was glad to hear that this decision is a trial and may not be repeated next year (though I would not put any money on its reversal). Likely, this issue wouldn't even be on my mind if my own Jewish children weren't going to be missing school just as school gets rolling. Do I think they're going to miss key learning that will penalize them thereafter? No, not so much. Though I do hope, perversely, that they miss something meaningful--otherwise, what was the point of this calendar change? Do I think that they will become more conscious that, as Jews, they're different than many of their peers? Yes, I do. Whether that's good, bad, or indifferent, only time will tell.

I suspect, as well, that Jewish kids may feel evaluated in some real way by this change. Every other year, the major holidays of their religion were recognized by school--one of the other key institutions in their lives. Now, no, and I think they and other kids, Jewish and not, will take note of that change and perceive that what was important isn't anymore.

When I think broadly about what's best for all kids, keeping school open for the Jewish holidays makes sense. Here's hoping that PPSD does great things with the extra time. Still, I worry about the loss, both for actual Jewish children who miss learning and bonding with their peers so early in the school year, and for all of the kids, who get the message that what was important last year isn't anymore.

getting ready to go back to school (already? about time!)

Technically, we're only halfway through summer, but for those of us programmed to run according to school calendars, summer is nearly over. Providence public schools' first day of school is Tuesday, August 26, less  than three weeks from now.

This isn't going to mean the same thing to all families. Some view the approaching date with dread, knowing that fun family time is going to end. Others view it eagerly, knowing that kids will have a safe and structured place to be during the day, with breakfast and lunch provided. And of course, we'll all have our own reactions as diverse as the different families that send their kids to our city's schools.

I am feeling both eagerness and dread. I feel lucky that my kids are safe and happy this summer, with enough to eat and plenty to do. At the same time, I am excited for them to get back to their school routines--or, in the case of my son who is starting kindergarten, start their school routines! I am wondering how much homework my third grader will have. I am wondering what the newly minted kindergartener will think of school. He thinks he will love it, and so do I. He's eager to read, and I think he believes that he'll show up on the first day of school and his teacher will wave a Magic Reading Wand and presto! he will be able to read. I suspect that won't happen. But what will?

If you want to connect with other families getting ready to send their kids back to school, join in the Providence Public Schools' Back to School Celebrations that are happening on Saturday, August 16 from 10am-1pm. Backpacks with free school supplies will be distributed for students who need them, and schools, afterschool programs, and support organizations will be at the various sites to provide information and help. 

The Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Elementary School Parent-Teacher Organization (which I will henceforth in this blog refer to as the MLK PTO!) will be at the back to school celebration at Hope High School, 324 Hope Street. Other similar celebrations will take place at the following sites: 

• Nathanael Greene Middle School, 721 Chalkstone Avenue
• Perry Middle School, 370 Hartford Avenue
• Providence School Registration Center, 672 Prairie Avenue
• St. Teresa's Church, 18 Pope Street (corner of Manton Avenue)
• West End Community Center, 109 Bucklin Street

And here's a post from Kidoinfo sharing similar news about the back to school celebrations, with additional info about sites outside Providence!

So, how are you and your kids feeling about the first day of school's fast approach?